Last Jedi 

Last Jedi (2017)

Warning: This is only the second Star Wars flick I've seen. I may have had some trouble figuring out who the characters were, but eventually got it all straight.

Opening title crawl: check!

Rebels: check, but alas, no monuments!

Phone pranks: check! (The kids love phone pranks).

"Dreadnoughts" & "Bombs Away!": check!

Darth Vader: now played by Adam Driver!

Pescatarian Jedi: Played by Luke Skywalker!

Mark Hamill: now played by Orson Welles in his greatest role!

Washed-up has-been Jedi: played superbly by Mark Hamil!

Young Luke: now a girl named Rey!

Intergender violence: Carrie Fisher!

Rey and Luke: get in a light saber fight in the rain (but not sexy)!

Then: Rey goes to the Death Star! (I never figured out why.)

Then: Rey and Adam Driver and Smeagol get in a light saber fight! I think maybe Rey won!

Then: some other stuff happens!

Then: Rey is on the Millennium Falcon with Chewbacca (I missed the part that explained how)!

Filmies: some beautiful match cuts!

Laura Dern: Wild at Heart and looking good with lilac hair!

Down on a planet: it's time for High Noon with Adam Driver, Luke Skywalker (now played by William H. Macy), but not Katy Jurado!

"See ya around, kid": Nooooooooooooo!

Maybe the greatest film ever made, but ok to wait for TV!

May the Force be with you.